Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fuck appropriateness.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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