Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
