what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
