I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
