How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize