i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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