If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
