I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
