how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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