Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
