STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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