hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
