i think my tv is drunk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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