They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
