Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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