At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
