I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize