when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
