After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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