Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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