I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
