NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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