why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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