Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
