last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
