i just google imaged poop.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
