Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
