Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize