Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
