You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize