I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
