The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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