stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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