OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
