i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
