I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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