You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
