its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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