he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
