Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
