Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
