The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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