i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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