I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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