Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
