it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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