what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
