Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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