I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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