is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize