That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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