You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I looked at my own cervix.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize