I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
