also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
