lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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