Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
