It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
