wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
