This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
