I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
