halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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