don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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